Singular Partner's past affair
Singular partner’s past affair
This sensitive issue has been broaching in my mind for quite sometime. Many of my pals use this as an excuse to get me also involved in their ‘playboy fun activities’, which just doesn’t convince me, ever, to get indulged. The issue of ‘fun’, notwithstanding all for my open views about them and with due respect to taboo-ic no-no to free love for all, a beloved's past affair is a psychological upheaval. I think there probably still exist a positive answer to handling the case of one the partners' past afair when the other is innocent.
I often think that if sociology and social psychology ever were a subject for the IIT entrance test, the JEE, then this question of handling singular partner’s past affair would have aptly judged people’s mettle. Not all people can dare to think of this situation and worse enough, try solving it in a constructive way. Self-annihilation seems to be most tempting solution. Of late I have started feeling that there still exist some good solutions to it, because life definitely has solutions of such cases. Therefore, all that the people need to do is not to get bookish and watch this world with an open mind.
To get my possible hints to the solution , I turn back to my favourite place, the movies, which deal with such topics. One of the flicks I recall is one slower one ‘Dil kya kare’ and another one, “Mrs and Mr Iyer”.
This sensitive issue has been broaching in my mind for quite sometime. Many of my pals use this as an excuse to get me also involved in their ‘playboy fun activities’, which just doesn’t convince me, ever, to get indulged. The issue of ‘fun’, notwithstanding all for my open views about them and with due respect to taboo-ic no-no to free love for all, a beloved's past affair is a psychological upheaval. I think there probably still exist a positive answer to handling the case of one the partners' past afair when the other is innocent.
I often think that if sociology and social psychology ever were a subject for the IIT entrance test, the JEE, then this question of handling singular partner’s past affair would have aptly judged people’s mettle. Not all people can dare to think of this situation and worse enough, try solving it in a constructive way. Self-annihilation seems to be most tempting solution. Of late I have started feeling that there still exist some good solutions to it, because life definitely has solutions of such cases. Therefore, all that the people need to do is not to get bookish and watch this world with an open mind.
To get my possible hints to the solution , I turn back to my favourite place, the movies, which deal with such topics. One of the flicks I recall is one slower one ‘Dil kya kare’ and another one, “Mrs and Mr Iyer”.
thanks for your comments :)
ReplyDeletewell.... though I don't know much abt these issues ... by what I have seen with many of my friends , I feel that hoping for a partner who hasn't had a past affair (providing you are looking for someone aged 24-25) is little too much to ask.
As Bob Dylan has said :
Times..they are a-changing :)
thanks for ur comments arrow...but what i intended to say was to be able to handle the case of past affair, n not hoping that there would be none! u r right to suggest that 'it's li'l too much to ask for' , but intelligence is in handling it away after knowing it..n surely the big world has samples of those who didnt have any !!(me for once ;-)]
ReplyDeletecases of unintentional/reasonable unfulfilled affair should be accepted. but all cases cannot be put under this class. The world also has samples of promiscuous , leacherous n sleazy people, both males n females, who keep having affairs n x-relations one after another.
The respect from ex-partener will also matter. for example he should not keeping singing around her bedtime stories.!
n the old flame should be respectably and conclusively doused, with renewed vigour for the new partner.
there can be many more do's n dont's. In all, the intelligence in choice of previous partner, n other factors will matter, i guess..
1. Women, although they have ability to choice, but tend to act without choice in most cases. Anybody can make upto them with slight efforts. Men may be little more selective and promiscuous.
ReplyDelete2. They tend to get most emotional, and almost get down to begging the man for ‘getting married’ just at the point they are getting physically intimate. This she may be doing without actual choice also, because the purpose is to save the ‘disgrace’ of getting intimate without the compliance of social restriction of ‘Marriage first’. Also, it becomes a justification for their compromise for their animal needs
3. It is at this point that men may tend to get fooled by a woman’s emotions.
4. Social stability is as it is more of a woman’s need than men’s.
5. They want ‘it’ as much as men do. But changing partners may not be as much frequent as in men’s case. Perhaps, in each relationship, they pause to look around for social stability. Thankfully there are enough men to provide that.
6. And around certain age, say 30, even men tend to look for relation stability, perhaps realizing that old age is getting on in time to come.
7. With every failed relationship women try to act smarter by concluding that ‘having fun’ is the norm of the day. They tend to be promiscuous now. Easier to be ‘set’ by anybody at this point.
8. Men don’t like ‘fun loving’ women for marriage.
9. Nature’s design; even with the knowledge of most of the above points the system will continue as it is.
10. Men like to sing around their bed time conquest. Or make MMS, video clips etc. Women, even when they know its repercussions, may agree to getting one made.